Welcome to the Momune

I'm Sarah Weeldreyer! Thank you for joining me on my adventures discovering the natural world and discovering Truths through mindfulness and brave, open-hearted, simple living. 

i'm back bitches!

i'm back bitches!

It’s been a long time since I’ve written something from my heart. In that time there have been a million little changes, little awakenings, little hurts and movements and progressions. It’s been a complicated symphony of ongoing emotions. And fear, my ever present shadowy accomplice, is never far throughout all of this beautiful and awful transition into life as a divorcee.

I stopped writing because I was afraid. My words were used against me in a vulnerable situation and I realized that, while for me writing has been useful and therapeutic and good, I needed to make sure I was writing from a place of healing. That the words are focused on goodness and recovery and moving towards mindfulness and love.

And I also needed to remember that my words are only mine. This is my side of a story. This is my process and experience. There is no right or wrong.

And I need to remember that my words have helped other people. And even if it’s just one other human who connects with what I write and feels less alone, less scared, less hopeless in their journey, then fuck it! Do no harm, but take no shit.

And I need to remember that this is part of my healing, and my recovery. Divorce is hard. Unwinding a decade’s worth of missed connections and faulty communication and broken intuition and shame and doubt is hard. Accepting addiction and working towards becoming a more complete human being is fucking hard. And I will use ever tool I can.

On a recent foray into the woods, I left the trail and followed a creek upstream for a bit. After a while, the overgrown Pacific Northwest woods became too tangled and the creek bed too steep to journey any further. I found a spot to sit, and I focused on the sounds of the forest, and I looked up into the rain and let my tears mingle a bit, and I opened up my arms to all the things and I asked out loud, ‘what do I do now? Guide me, help me, show me.’ And I cried for the death of the life I thought I’d had, and the future I’d planned for, and the relationship I thought I’d wanted, and the betrayals I’m carrying around, and the confusion about who I thought I was and who I want to become. And I heard the water say to me, ‘the pictures and the words’.

So here I am. And here I’ll stay.

Discovery Park

Discovery Park

Wilderness Peak - Cougar Mountain

Wilderness Peak - Cougar Mountain

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