This month I've been trying, in the spirit of thanksgiving, to stay mindful of the things for which I'm thankful and to practice gratitude on a daily basis. I've enjoyed it so much that I'm considering making it an all the time adventure, or at least coming up with a different subject on a regular basis to focus on and be aware of (next month; magic?).
I've noticed that most of the time my grateful heart hones in on simple things. Little moments of beauty with the boys, glimpses of sunshine through clouds, a tiny red beetle, or thoughts that flutter in and settle for only a moment before the noise of the real world scares them away.
Being conscious of these things is hard! Laundry and bills and fear are so much better at making themselves seen. TV and Facebook and politics are far more efficient at stealing attention.
But these are the things that actually matter! And if we're not paying attention they are so easy to miss. Especially these days when things feel so unsettled and scary.
I think we have to practice it though, and be patient with ourselves. It's not a simple thing. I think we need to remind ourselves to remember what really matters, because if we don't then we're just going through the motions. We're just getting by and there's no rhyme or reason or purpose. And if there's no purpose then what's the point!?
Sorry to be dramatic, but I'm really feeling this gratitude thing right now. And really recognizing for the first time in a long time (maybe ever) that there's no 'some day,' there's no 'it'll be better when...', there can't be any more 'if only...then...'. It's beautiful and wonderful and hard and scary and amazing right now! Every day!
Now, how to burn it into my brain so I don't forget?